HUMOR: 5 things only a mom would say on Valentine’s Day
On Valentine’s Day, long before your mommy days, you probably dined by candlelight in some swanky restaurant. Once you give birth to those sweet little munchkins, your meal is more likely to involve baby spit up or chicken nuggets. Besides the lack of a romantic dining experience you may also find yourself saying the following:
1. “Thank God this holiday doesn’t entail elves, fairies, leprechauns or any other magical night creatures.”
I’m not sure who came up with the brilliant idea of having “magical night creatures” but I can guarantee it wasn’t a mom. At night moms are counting down the seconds until she can go to sleep. The last thing on a mom’s mind is remembering to move an elf, retrieve a tooth or paint green leprechaun footprints on the floor. Plus, who would want to create a “leprechaun mess” knowing who will have to clean it up later—definitely not a mom! We have enough messes we already clean daily. So please don’t create a magical “cupid” that comes in the night—we already have more magic than Harry Potter at our house—thanks but no thanks.
2. “I know you already have five Valentine’s Day T-shirts but I couldn’t resist buying another one. I mean what other time can you wear a shirt that says, ‘Love-a-saurus’ with an adorable red dinosaur on it?”
Valentine’s Day kid shirts are adorable. And let’s face it, your teen isn’t going to let you dress them up in a “Love-a-saurus” shirt so I’m going to dress them up in as many as I can while I still can. Some of my favorites besides “Love-a-saurus” are “More Spice than Sugar,” “I Choo-Choo Choose You,” and “You Have a Pizza of My Heart.”
3. “I just need about ten more hours on Pinterest to find the perfect Valentine’s Day craft, cupcake and card.”
Pinterest is a black hole that will suck all of the hours out of your day. Just when you think you found the perfect craft, cupcake or card to replicate for the twenty-five kids in your child’s class, you will see another one and then another one and before you know it the whole day is gone and you still haven’t picked up a glue gun or spatula.
4. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll give you some candy if you go number 2—in the potty this time.”
Oh, the joys of potty training on Valentine’s Day! Enough said.
5. “I think a fair cut of your Valentine’s Day school candy would be half since I wrote all twenty-five of your Valentine Cards.”
Not only do you have to write each kid’s name on the Valentine's card but then you have to lick each envelope and then put a candy or sticker on it. If you are lucky enough to have three kids that is seventy-five cards in one night since, of course, you waited until the night before to do this “work.” Surely this warrants at least half of the candy take if not more—actually 60/40 is probably a fairer cut.
Once that Hershey kiss starts melting in your mouth, that hand cramp will be a distant memory—until next year.
~ Article by Cheryl Maguire
~Photo credit: © Ilonashorokhova | Dreamstime.com
1. “Thank God this holiday doesn’t entail elves, fairies, leprechauns or any other magical night creatures.”
I’m not sure who came up with the brilliant idea of having “magical night creatures” but I can guarantee it wasn’t a mom. At night moms are counting down the seconds until she can go to sleep. The last thing on a mom’s mind is remembering to move an elf, retrieve a tooth or paint green leprechaun footprints on the floor. Plus, who would want to create a “leprechaun mess” knowing who will have to clean it up later—definitely not a mom! We have enough messes we already clean daily. So please don’t create a magical “cupid” that comes in the night—we already have more magic than Harry Potter at our house—thanks but no thanks.
2. “I know you already have five Valentine’s Day T-shirts but I couldn’t resist buying another one. I mean what other time can you wear a shirt that says, ‘Love-a-saurus’ with an adorable red dinosaur on it?”
Valentine’s Day kid shirts are adorable. And let’s face it, your teen isn’t going to let you dress them up in a “Love-a-saurus” shirt so I’m going to dress them up in as many as I can while I still can. Some of my favorites besides “Love-a-saurus” are “More Spice than Sugar,” “I Choo-Choo Choose You,” and “You Have a Pizza of My Heart.”
3. “I just need about ten more hours on Pinterest to find the perfect Valentine’s Day craft, cupcake and card.”
Pinterest is a black hole that will suck all of the hours out of your day. Just when you think you found the perfect craft, cupcake or card to replicate for the twenty-five kids in your child’s class, you will see another one and then another one and before you know it the whole day is gone and you still haven’t picked up a glue gun or spatula.
4. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll give you some candy if you go number 2—in the potty this time.”
Oh, the joys of potty training on Valentine’s Day! Enough said.
5. “I think a fair cut of your Valentine’s Day school candy would be half since I wrote all twenty-five of your Valentine Cards.”
Not only do you have to write each kid’s name on the Valentine's card but then you have to lick each envelope and then put a candy or sticker on it. If you are lucky enough to have three kids that is seventy-five cards in one night since, of course, you waited until the night before to do this “work.” Surely this warrants at least half of the candy take if not more—actually 60/40 is probably a fairer cut.
Once that Hershey kiss starts melting in your mouth, that hand cramp will be a distant memory—until next year.
~ Article by Cheryl Maguire
~Photo credit: © Ilonashorokhova | Dreamstime.com