Ah, Easter!  The magical time of year when we celebrate renewal, rebirth, and the fact that an oversized rabbit apparently sneaks into our homes and leaves us candy.  It’s the only day when eating chocolate for breakfast is not only acceptable but encouraged.

Let’s start with the real highlight of Easter: the egg hunt.  Nothing says "fun" like unleashing sugar-fueled children into the yard, where they’ll fight to the death over a plastic egg containing a single jellybean.  Meanwhile, parents stand on the sidelines, coffee in hand, wondering why they didn’t just hide $5 bills and call it a day.

Speaking of eggs, Easter is the only time we willingly participate in an elaborate egg-dyeing ritual that leaves us with rainbow-stained fingers and countertops that will be "festively decorated" until July.  Somehow, despite using every color imaginable, the eggs all end up the same murky shade of disappointment.

Then there’s the Easter feast—a meal that somehow manages to involve both ham and deviled eggs, which seems oddly threatening when you think about it.   And let’s not forget Grandma’s “famous” carrot cake, which is basically a sneaky way to add vegetables to dessert.

Of course, no Easter is complete without the mysterious Peeps—those neon marshmallow chicks that have the texture of insulation foam and a shelf life of eternity.  No one actually enjoys them, yet they somehow multiply in your pantry like real rabbits.

In the end, Easter is about family, faith, and the universal agreement that hollow chocolate bunnies are a scam.  So whether you’re celebrating with church, candy, or just an excuse to eat ham for three days straight, enjoy the holiday!

Just watch out for rogue Easter eggs hiding under your couch until Halloween.